When Dance is Over-Sexualized.

When Dance is Over-Sexualized.

Welcome to the hot button topic – one that stirs up a little controversy – but it’s something I am so passionate about, I am willing to risk stirring the pot in hopes that it opens up a conversation that, in my opinion, we need to have.

How much sexy is too much sexy?

Yes, we are asking that question.  In 2020.

Our collective team at Tiger Friday travels the country attending, watching, vending at, and judging dance competitions and we find it disconcerting how it seems we are pushing the envelope further each year.  We see dancers – seemingly younger each season – skillfully executing moves on stage that reflect ideas much too mature for children.

Before we continue - let me clarify.  I am not referring to strong, feminine numbers, romantic themed pieces, or even routines with tons of attutide and sass.  This is a very different category characterized by sexual movement and touch, often coupled with revealing costuming set to songs with "mature" and questionable lyrics.

*Sigh*... I admit, as one driven by very traditional religious values, I recognize that some of my opinions may seem outdated, and I certainly do not judge what others choose to do to their own bodies.  I understand that my choices aren’t necessarily “right” for everyone. But, I will say one thing I hold to be universal in this crazy dance world – religious or not.  We, as adults, pushing our young dancers to be comfortable with overtly sexual choreography and extremely revealing dancewear will lead to a desensitization to age-inappropriate sexuality and an increased disrespectfulness of the body and mind, particularly within our young female dancers.

I have many points for my readers to consider:

First: As innocent as we may feel it is – what is the message we are sending to these kids?  The way I see it – the message that we are (hopefully unintentionally) sending to these young, impressionable dancers is that to show more skin, perform more sexually suggestive movement is the way to get attention.  The way to make people applaud.  The way to make them approve of you. As adults, we may see it as "innocent" and "cute" - but to the impressionable brain of a child, they are, in fact, being conditioned. Obviously, as a grown woman, I would consider the suggestion that to gain approval I must lower my neckline and sexualize myself both degrading and highly offensive - right? So why is it okay to teach children this?

Now, I’m all for a little coy sass or even an aggressive, powerful female presence. Bring on the woman power - 100%. But when it comes to suggestive lyrics, “barely-there” costuming and **using our female “private parts” as the focus of our movement** – what is really happening?  We are cheapening the value and beauty of our dancers and their bodies. We are teaching them to use their bodies, their sexuality and confidence, in ways that desecrate their inherent innocence and virtue.

Which leads me to my next point: Who is watching and how is this affecting them I learned the hard way, and now I won’t let my 13-year-old son come watch dance competitions.  I know most everything he sees will be clean and beautiful… but what about that one piece that is sure to sneak in– the one with the dancers wearing actual lingerie, stage-grinding to Rihanna’s “Push Up On Me”?  And – after viewing 99 clean pieces and 1 overly sexy piece – which ONE will be burned into his memory? Each time I see a piece like this I can’t help but wonder- WHERE ARE THESE BEAUTIFUL LADIES’ FATHERS?! I have a very difficult time believing these dads aren’t the slightest bit uncomfortable watching their daughters bump and grind on stage for all to see.  Not to mention any hormonal teenage brothers out there trying to be supportive siblings… Are we not also teaching and conditioning them? Again, it may seem innocent to us, but the actual message being sent is- "we encourage you to watch, hoot and holler for, young ladies in very little clothing, dancing suggestively." Is that not exactly what, as grown women, we are trying to DE-condition in our society?

On the one hand, women are working around the clock to undo centuries of damage from our gender being sexually objectified and degraded.  We want to be respected, feel confident, feel equal, feel validated.  Are we, as teachers and choreographers unintentionally undoing some of that progress? Should young girls receive the message that their female power is found in showing off their bodies? That they should feel fierce and gain respect by using sexual movement on stage? It feels like we are contradicting ourselves. 

Why are we – as parents, studio owners, teachers, choreographers, DANCERS – allowing this? Are we rationalizing that this is just the way the world is now?

Well, not for me.

Not my choreography.

Not my dancers.

Not Tiger Friday dancewear.

I hope, if nothing else, I can help condition dancers to respect their beautiful bodies.  To help them understand ways to use their bodies to create meaningful, beautiful, exciting, confident, powerful, fierce art.  To inspire them to know the truth about the power of their womanhood and use it in a meaningful and positive way. To give them the tools to feel confident in their bodies without feeling comfortable selling them.  To help them feel powerful, confident, “fierce and free” - even attractive! - in their own skin without attaching that worth to the willingness to be sexualized. I pray that they will see they are worth so much more than that, and I hope I can be some small part of that realization.

Dance on,

Bree Hafen

Please share your thoughts below, share this message, and subscribe for future dance discussions:



More Posts


  • Author image
    Charlene Chapman: August 19, 2022

    I ran into this today and it gave me yet another reason why I love this company!

  • Author image
    Birdie: October 20, 2021

    I absolutely 100% agree with everything. My only concern is that one of your models dances for a dance company where the studio owner sexualises her dancers in most routines and has put her dancers on stage with questionable choreography, to questionable songs, and wholly inappropriate outfits. Just this year one of the models on this site did the most inappropriate solo in an inappropriate costume on a national stage and ended up in the top 3. What is that saying to the future generations and what is that saying about your brand? I absolutely agree that it needs to be more regulated and that includes not letting “famous” choreographers and dancers get a pass because they are known. Maybe you as Tiger Friday and a huge influence to dancers everywhere need to check your models and their dances before you allow them to be models if the brand you’re trying promote and create is one that is empowering for young dancers without sexualisation

  • Author image
    Kandice Larson: July 19, 2021

    I love this! Thank you so much for speaking on this topic. It’s such a struggle having 2 young girls in dance.

  • Author image
    Rachel Hoyt: July 03, 2021

    Well said.

  • Author image
    Rebekah: April 06, 2021

    Thank you for this post. Agree 100% and appreciate you sharing this will all of us !

  • Author image
    Natalie : February 11, 2021

    Thank you for this!!!!!! Agree 100%

  • Author image
    Dena Burris: September 15, 2020

    I’m not a dance mom, I actually have a gymnast, but I was a dancer and I support dancers on IG and I can definitely see what you are referring to in this statement! I literally could go on and on in reply to this, so I’ll leave it with BRAVO for addressing a real issue, not just in dance but in photographs, of our young girls! May they grow to be the strong, fierce, and fabulous women we raise them to be while respecting themselves in the process. Thanks for putting this out there Bree! Love that your opening a real conversation!

  • Author image
    Tammie Ibach: September 13, 2020

    So we’ll said! This really is a rapidly growing trend in dance and it needs to be discussed! Ty

  • Author image
    Charlotte Rohrer: June 25, 2020

    I couldn’t agree more. There is such a thing as over-sexualized when you are talking about prepubescent children. I’ve seen numbers that are shocking, and I’m no prude. Adults “celebrating” sexuality is one thing but watching a six-year-old open her legs and twerk is gross. Kids are exposed to so many sexual images and seek to emulate what they see without an understanding of the real emotions and maturity that is required for that type of behavior. Also, children have to grow up so quickly these days, I teach kindergarten and I"m often shocked by the things I hear my students say, at that age. I ache for their innocence lost and when I see it “celebrated” on the stage, my heart hurts worse. Do they even understand what they are emulating when they twerk? I also wonder why more parents don’t feel the way I do. Again, I’m pretty darn liberal but there is a time when it becomes appropriate if one chooses, but when they are too young to understand what it is they are doing, then they are too young to choose to do so, and parents should stand up for them. Where does it end? If twerking and crotch flashing are acceptable, what is left that is unacceptable?

  • Author image
    Stells: May 01, 2020

    Personally, I think that sexuality is part of being human. As such I think we should stop shaming people and especially women for being „too sexual“ in dance, as long as they are actually still dancing and showing their skill. In my opinion, „shaming“ sexual dancers actually generates the attention they get. If it wasn‘t considered somewhat scandalous, it wouldn‘t stand out as much and therefore no one would do it simply for attention.

    That being said, I think sexuality part of being an ADULT. Until a dancer actually can understand about it on a physical and emotional level, they should NOT be given such routines. This probably depends a lot on the dancer but I‘d say most below 16 have not reached that point.

    A different topic is that (also) in the dance world, sexualization seems to happen more to female dancers (not just in absolute numbers but also in proportion). I think competitions should have rules in place to disqualify dances that are derogatory towards women, especially in sexual ways.

  • Author image
    Lea: March 14, 2020

    I saw this at SHOWSTOPPER in Phoenix last month! The dance that won was a ballroom number done by teens/Sr. It was called THE ITALIAN! It started out by a girl standing there telling the audience that you please a woman by giving her what God gave you… and in the beginning if the dance a girls bends over right in front of the make dancer’s crotch!!!

    They win the overall high score!!!! Really???? And their other ballroom dance guy 2nd overall and the girls looked like topless Vegas showgirls!!! That was the theme…

    I’m no prude: I worked in Vegas… I short so I wasn’t a show girl… but many of my friends were!

    I’m sooo ashamed of Showstopper… I really don’t want to do their Nationals!

  • Author image
    Flo Dance: March 13, 2020

    Thank you so much Bree for discussing this issue in such a respectful way! This definitely needed to be said and I am so proud to support a company that empowers young girls in the best way.

Leave a comment

All blog comments are checked prior to publishing